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For 2023 (and 2024 ...) - we are now fully retired from IT training.
We have made many, many friends over 25 years of teaching about Python, Tcl, Perl, PHP, Lua, Java, C and C++ - and MySQL, Linux and Solaris/SunOS too. Our training notes are now very much out of date, but due to upward compatability most of our examples remain operational and even relevant ad you are welcome to make us if them "as seen" and at your own risk.

Lisa and I (Graham) now live in what was our training centre in Melksham - happy to meet with former delegates here - but do check ahead before coming round. We are far from inactive - rather, enjoying the times that we are retired but still healthy enough in mind and body to be active!

I am also active in many other area and still look after a lot of web sites - you can find an index ((here))
Loosing breath with Gerald

John walked in to the training course this morning and he was very much out of breath. "Usually it takes me 25 minutes to walk to work" he said "but this morning I walked down with Gerald - my goodness he walks quickly - I was here in 10".

I offered a few words of sympathy and quietly wondered at Gerald - couldn't he see that his fast pace wasn't appropriate for John?

Jack came in and was chatting with John. "Oh yeah - no-one can keep up with Gerald" and there was some joke or other about his nickname - "six legs Gerald".

It twigged a bit later (and with some further clues). Gerald does have six legs - two are his own and four belong to his guide dog and, no, he couldn't see that he was walking too fast for John.
(written 2006-01-31, updated 2006-06-05)

Commentatorsays ...
Jack:Most impressed Graham by the speed of this post. I can confirm the story, to anyone who might doubt it - after all, I do feature in it.
(comment added 2006-01-31 21:11:47)
Associated topics are indexed as below, or enter http://melksh.am/nnnn for individual articles
Z700 - People
  [207] Canteen Dragon - (2005-02-09)
  [388] BBQ Season - (2005-07-24)
  [392] No Smoking - (2005-07-27)
  [423] A Victorian Lady - (2005-08-23)
  [530] Perl course during the week, getting married at the weekend - (2005-12-16)
  [543] The world didn't stop for Christmas - (2005-12-26)
  [601] A fond memory of Sir Freddie - (2006-02-11)
  [611] Look out for the motor cyclist - (2006-02-17)
  [650] A person of few words - (2006-03-18)
  [704] Erin Brent - rest in peace - (2006-04-29)
  [763] Much more that the world cup - (2006-06-15)
  [771] From cat breeder to Cobol to Perl - (2006-06-21)
  [794] Perl delegate - much more than just a delegate - (2006-07-06)
  [820] Robert and William Whitworth - (2006-08-01)
  [1064] Light and shadows at Beach - (2007-02-04)
  [1065] Graham Ellis - an Introduction - (2007-02-05)
  [1107] Weekend Visitors - (2007-03-13)
  [1119] The Last Word on the road - (2007-03-26)
  [1151] Gordon Dodge, R.I.P. - (2007-04-16)
  [1197] Back off home with our best wishes - (2007-05-21)
  [1238] The kind spirit of Melksham - (2007-06-21)
  [1279] The Gdansk fireball - (2007-07-27)
  [1303] Heading Upstate New York - (2007-08-14)
  [1385] Delegates of all shapes and sizes - (2007-10-09)
  [1522] Paging Martin Noke, who petitions for more trains from Trowbridge to Swindon - (2008-01-28)
  [1570] London Midland ... Merrymaker ... Percy Danks - (2008-03-10)
  [1627] Amazing family members - (2008-05-02)
  [1916] Why I remember East Grafton - (2008-12-02)
  [1980] Michelle - (2009-01-06)
  [1988] Melksham, Wiltshire. Town Crier Competition, 2009 - (2009-01-11)
  [2078] A lot has changed - but the memory lingers on - (2009-03-12)
  [2100] Visiting Family - (2009-03-23)
  [2132] Learning about Lurchers - (2009-04-18)
  [2503] Melksham manslaughter case concludes - sort of - (2009-11-14)
  [2795] Simon says - (2010-06-05)
  [2846] Catching up with an old friend - (2010-07-01)
  [2886] Congratulations, Kimberly - (2010-07-25)
  [3008] Dulwich College Preparatory, and Sevenoaks, Schools - (2010-10-21)
  [3034] Birth Notice - Aeryn Cassandra Ellis - (2010-11-07)
  [3055] Zyliana Kyrei Cox - (2010-11-16)
  [3125] The family is defunct. Long live the family. - (2011-01-09)
  [3184] Visiting relatives - (2011-02-26)
  [3268] Baby Pictures - (2011-04-27)
  [3297] A long day, a long journey, and families and similarities the world over - (2011-05-22)
  [3298] Quiet Monday in - (2011-05-23)
  [3355] Family Pictures - (2011-07-12)
  [3466] Passing of Steve Jobs - R.I.P. - (2011-10-06)
  [3512] A colleague and friend who changed my life - (2011-11-07)
  [3775] Alan Turing - 1912 to 1954 - (2012-06-23)
  [3905] How should we choose our Wiltshire Police and Crime Commissioner? - (2012-10-27)
  [3981] Melksham - a town of some remarkable people - (2013-01-19)
  [4193] Using our non-found page to help look for missing persons - (2013-10-18)
  [4349] When I am old, what will worry me? - (2014-12-11)
  [4482] People in New York - (2015-05-02)
  [4646] Sometimes you wonder about people. And perhaps you should not. - (2016-02-13)
  [4728] Visiting Los Alamitos Bay Yacht Club - (2016-11-23)
  [4736] Our changing world - (2017-04-17)

Z100 - Daily life
  [19] interesting products and subjects - (2004-08-19)
  [20] Not two the same - (2004-08-20)
  [26] Matching Cat - (2004-08-24)
  [110] Friday, busy week! - (2004-11-05)
  [149] Fish stocks - (2004-12-12)
  [206] Fox and Python - (2005-02-08)
  [228] Beard Justification - (2005-02-26)
  [232] Diverse activities - (2005-03-01)
  [238] Difficulties with a trolley - (2005-03-07)
  [271] Different course every day - (2005-04-07)
  [283] Natural or man-made? - (2005-04-18)
  [307] Farming yesterday - (2005-05-10)
  [330] An O level comes in handy - (2005-05-30)
  [363] Greetings from Edinburgh - (2005-06-29)
  [446] Up early - (2005-09-16)
  [455] A Stengthening day - (2005-10-04)
  [473] Looking different in town - (2005-10-22)
  [474] Vintage Bus Day - (2005-10-23)
  [516] Open source questions? Anyone can ask. - (2005-12-03)
  [580] What to do with milk - (2006-01-28)
  [605] Design your day with a walk - (2006-02-13)
  [612] Coming or going? - (2006-02-18)
  [613] Greetings from Dublin - (2006-02-20)
  [623] Behind every face is a person and a story - (2006-02-25)
  [635] Odd one out. - (2006-03-06)
  [645] Lost Camel - (2006-03-14)
  [654] Making use of disabled facilities - (2006-03-22)
  [655] Can some food be TOO different? - (2006-03-23)
  [692] Healthier eating - (2006-04-20)
  [698] Catch up weekend - (2006-04-24)
  [706] May day away - (2006-05-01)
  [724] Helping mental health through diet, exercise and other lifestyle matters - (2006-05-18)
  [752] Over zealous police activity? - (2006-06-09)
  [777] On Crosby sands - (2006-06-25)
  [817] Working on Weekend in Wiltshire and others - (2006-07-29)
  [843] To join an organisation? - (2006-08-23)
  [882] Rocks, hard places, trains and funerals. - (2006-09-30)
  [897] Too much for the National Trust - (2006-10-18)
  [908] And so to Inverness - (2006-10-29)
  [911] Letter Home - (2006-11-01)
  [921] French Exchange - (2006-11-11)
  [978] Wellhouse Manor, Hotel, Melksham - (2006-12-10)
  [992] Enthusiastic, but .... - (2006-12-16)
  [1056] Another frantic posting! - (2007-01-30)
  [1057] Selling by phone and Skype - our policy - (2007-01-30)
  [1061] Take vehicles off the road - put all the passengers into one - (2007-02-01)
  [1100] Wondering where I have been - (2007-03-06)
  [1138] The Holiday - unlikely romantic comedy? - (2007-04-08)
  [1178] Ducking stool for Melksham? - (2007-05-06)
  [1189] Meet, greet and welcome - (2007-05-16)
  [1272] Behind closed doors? - (2007-07-22)
  [1429] Remembrance day - inside a church and inside the day - (2007-11-11)
  [1643] A lack of technical content - (2008-05-16)
  [1810] Middle aged subsidise young and old - (2008-09-26)
  [1953] End of Training, 2008 - (2008-12-20)
  [1979] Looking forward, in Melksham, in 2009 - (2009-01-05)
  [2000] 2000th article - Remember the background and basics - (2009-01-18)
  [2008] The Month Ahead - What is happening in Melksham - (2009-01-25)
  [2024] Carry on Training - in spite of the weather - (2009-02-03)
  [2027] Who sticks by you in the snow? - (2009-02-05)
  [2030] The final step to being British - (2009-02-07)
  [2034] Through Snow and Flood to Linux and Tomcat - (2009-02-10)
  [2064] East of Melksham Countryside - (2009-03-02)
  [2068] Playing Catchup - (2009-03-06)
  [2090] Melksham to Georgia - (2009-03-19)
  [2105] Hire Car, from Atlanta Airport - (2009-03-27)
  [2106] Learning to Twitter / what is Twitter? - (2009-03-28)
  [2118] Spring Sprung - (2009-04-05)
  [2121] Out in the Vale of Pewsey - (2009-04-07)
  [2141] Town Crier competiton - (2009-04-25)
  [2159] A long day to guess where - (2009-05-06)
  [2164] Updating my public profile - Graham Ellis - (2009-05-09)
  [2217] Enjoying the summer weather - (2009-06-04)
  [2264] Learning about others private lives - (2009-06-30)
  [2371] Quiet summer days? I think not! - (2009-08-22)
  [2401] Back Tomorrow - (2009-09-10)
  [2450] Family Gathering at 404, The Spa - (2009-10-11)
  [2580] C course inspires new teaching examples - (2010-01-16)
  [2868] A move towards the family - (2010-07-12)
  [3316] Twitter Phishing Trips ... and a great new alert service - (2011-06-04)
  [3319] Moving on - a task for the hotel staff! - (2011-06-08)
  [3463] Busy weekend of contrasts. - (2011-10-03)
  [3553] Changes to morning routines - (2011-12-16)
  [3743] Sunday - no longer a day of rest - (2012-05-28)
  [4222] Five lessons learned or re-learned on my travels - (2013-12-15)


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Changing @INC - where Perl loads its modules
Job vacancy - double agent wanted
Perl Regular Expressions - finding the position and length of the match
Looking for Python staff
Loosing breath with Gerald
Remember to process blank lines
DWIM and AWWO
Saving a MySQL query results to your local disc for Excel
Short Linux and Perl courses for small groups
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This is a page archived from The Horse's Mouth at http://www.wellho.net/horse/ - the diary and writings of Graham Ellis. Every attempt was made to provide current information at the time the page was written, but things do move forward in our business - new software releases, price changes, new techniques. Please check back via our main site for current courses, prices, versions, etc - any mention of a price in "The Horse's Mouth" cannot be taken as an offer to supply at that price.

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