Technical Loneliness

"My partner cannot understand what I do for work." "When are you going to get off that computer and come to bed?" Two signs of technical loneliness.

For some, a life where technical work is left at the factory gate and a switch is thrown to a separate family compartment is possible and suits them, but for others the technical becomes an interest, a hobby, or an obsession. And it can be a source of some disappointment - a gap can be left - when they can't share with the one to whom they're otherwise closest. Both Lisa and I have been there in previous relationships; we marvel at how lucky we are today to have a good overlap between our technical fields, and we meet many, many other who don't have the same overlap of their knowledge bases.

"Come as a student, leave as a friend" say our coffee mugs and handout folders - indeed, people do. And they also leave with other technical friends.

Many people have chosen a programming role because they're bright but don't enjoy communicating/ working closely with 'typical' other people. They appear on morning 1 of a course, a little nervous, saying very little. Perhaps our long gravel driveway and imposing 4 story Georgian frontage don't help. Perhaps they're concerned that the course will be too technical for them, or the reverse. Perhaps they're worried as to how they'll spend 3 or 4 nights on their own in this little country town.

The vast majority of our trainees stay in accommodation near to us when they come on courses, and most of the time we'll note that they arrive alone on the first morning, even if they happened to travel down the night before and stay at the same little hotel or B&B as other class members. Come the second or third day of the course, though, they'll be helping each other with exercises, eating out or visiting local beauty spots together in the evening, and by the end of the course email addresses will have been exchanged; I'm not sure how much they stay in touch after the course but certainly the social aspects have come to them as something of a pleasant surprise and they've made some good network contacts in their field at the very least.
(written 2005-10-14, updated 2006-06-05)

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