Yes - hello
RE: A new industry report has rated your company as STRONG
... yyyyes? good! It is strong ;-) ...
Your company is one of only 114 in the UK Care Homes industry getting it right. A new study for 2011 has just been completed that analyzes emerging threats and opportunities in this evolving market and will help you to remain one step ahead of the rest.
Err ... but ... we're not in the UK Care Homes Industry. So on that basis I suppose we're doing nothing wrong!
The Plimsoll Analysis • Care Homes will tell you everything you need to know to benefit from an uncertain market. Each of the top 500 companies that operate in your specialist market has been individually assessed to provide a clear overview of their latest performance.
I wonder how many of the 500 aren't care homes at all ... we're a hotel, and we're a training centre. Perhaps there are a couple of transport cafes, a toy shop, and the odd airport operator in there too? Should make for some wonderfully wrong conclusions!
This brand new report is priced £350+VAT for a PDF version. As current market conditions are changing rapidly, we will be issuing an updated edition of this report in July 2011. Order today to receive both editions for the price of one- £350+VAT.
Ah ... now we're getting to what you really want, our money! We've become a strong company by carefully staying on track, providing an excellent service, and not diversifying beyond what we can enjoy and handle. We spend very little on sales and marketing, believing that our existing customer base should be our ambassadors, and they deserve best prices and not an inflated cost based on our desire to spend a loada dosh on reports of clearly questionable value.
To order, simply reply to my email and provide your address for invoicing. I will arrange for despatch and invoicing of the report.
Sorry Clair, no way. I suspect that your business is as weak as we are strong, based on its need to send out unsolicited bulk emails (thanks for the second copy, by the way!) to try to raise revenue.
Just occasionally, at the end of a long day, it's fun to have a look through a few spams and be amused! (written 2011-02-11, updated 2011-02-19)
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