The
Smelliphone on which you can not only talk to someone, but smell their breath too. An option for hands free phones lets you smell the rotting fruit they've forgotten on their office desk, or whatever else is around the handset.
The
personalised car alarm tone which you can download via your internet connection and install in your car. Then you'll know that it's YOUR car that's irritating the hell out of all the others around you as it goes off when you're in the supermarket queue.
(written 2006-06-14, updated 2006-06-15)
Associated topics are indexed as below, or enter http://melksh.am/nnnn for individual articles
Z800 - Whimsy [24] Impossible terms - (2004-08-22)
[39] A Change is as good as a rest - (2004-09-05)
[44] Serious subject - (2004-09-10)
[69] John Toner - (2004-10-01)
[94] Special change - (2004-10-20)
[151] Coffee Standards - (2004-12-14)
[156] Signage - (2004-12-18)
[300] Dentist's Waiting Room Syndrome - (2005-05-04)
[331] 08:45 is a difficult time - (2005-05-31)
[346] No Smoking Pubs - (2005-06-13)
[395] Making Orangutangs - (2005-07-28)
[520] Three life changing comments - (2005-12-07)
[547] Taking the dog for a walk - (2005-12-29)
[568] NB ''Aspiration'' - (2006-01-18)
[610] Need a hankie - (2006-02-16)
[661] Dressed up for a phone call - (2006-03-29)
[689] The call of nature - (2006-04-18)
[701] Minature Cyclists only - limited headroom - (2006-04-27)
[758] Very good for woodlice - (2006-06-12)
[784] Which way to turn? - (2006-06-28)
[807] Telling large from small - (2006-07-18)
[850] Lighter moments - (2006-08-31)
[892] A pattern in change - (2006-10-12)
[973] Too much used to Skype - (2006-12-08)
[1075] I'm not the father - (2007-02-11)
[1167] Leaning tower of Cheeser - (2007-04-28)
[1171] Traffic light control for horses - (2007-05-01)
[1241] If I say 'I am fine', what do I mean? - (2007-06-23)
[1440] Useful command or messy screen? - (2007-11-21)
[1604] M25 / South Mimms Service Area - (2008-04-07)
[1662] Westonbirt Arboretum Postcode - (2008-05-31)
[1886] Keys to friendless churches - (2008-11-15)
[1952] Small Print - (2008-12-19)
[1977] Going round the block - (2009-01-04)
[1980] Michelle - (2009-01-06)
[1988] Melksham, Wiltshire. Town Crier Competition, 2009 - (2009-01-11)
[2009] The Royal Mail Receipt - (2009-01-26)
[2028] Things people say on the phone - (2009-02-06)
[2050] Why the Pony Tail? - (2009-02-21)
[2089] The Longest Day - Wednesday, 28th September - (2009-03-18)
[2108] Funny Amusing, Funny Amazing and The Smarts - (2009-03-29)
[2127] Call in the professionals! - (2009-04-12)
[2131] Patterns in street names - (2009-04-17)
[2138] Ski bore ... train bore ... dog bore - (2009-04-24)
[2143] Throughout the year, around the world - (2009-04-27)
[2152] My four feet! - (2009-05-01)
[2157] From the 51773 family - (2009-05-04)
[2180] Patterns in numbers - room occupancy - (2009-05-13)
[2250] Bluegrass comes to Melksham - (2009-06-19)
[2251] Over a third of numbers start with the digit 1 - (2009-06-19)
[2256] Is it Python past cheetah already? - (2009-06-24)
[2397] Signwriting is dead. Long live the sign. - (2009-09-06)
[2496] A better design of mouth - (2009-11-07)
[2542] My armpit was like a zebra crossing - (2009-12-19)
[2626] On Malachite Green - (2010-02-06)
[2676] Changing Times - (2010-03-13)
[2945] Last, final, etc - (2010-09-04)
[3030] Liquorice allsorts and Dolly Mixtures - (2010-11-05)
[3203] Melksham Town Council announces ... - (2011-03-16)
[3215] Solution looking for problem - (2011-03-27)
[3223] Answering at my earliest convenience - (2011-03-29)
[3226] A busy morning for railway announcements - (2011-04-01)
[3288] Random Questions ... - (2011-05-14)
[3369] Local Council leads bans on many activities - (2011-07-24)
[3462] Hangers, luggage and possessions - (2011-10-01)
[3738] Adoptive homes sought for abandoned babies - (2012-05-20)
[3851] Who is this? Picture Puzzle - (2012-08-28)
[3868] How to make an ohno cake - (2012-09-23)
[3912] Sand to Arabia, Coals to Newcastle or Woodburners to Russia - (2012-11-04)
[3922] Twerp - A person regarded as insignificant and contemptible - (2012-11-12)
[4067] The woman, the television, the bullock and Darlington - (2013-04-23)
[4329] Does Santa Claus need a CRB check? - (2014-11-25)
[4392] Interview conditions,and other instructions to staff - (2015-01-12)
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